A Note About Hump Day

The beginning of a cleanse usually goes something like this:

Day 1 – Your intellectual voice is calm and in control. You say to yourself, “I feel pumped about doing something positive for my body, mind and spirit.” Halfway through the day it’s, “This lemonade is interesting. I can get used to it.” And by nightfall, “OK I can see how this is going to take some effort but I’m in it to win it. Let’s go!”

Day 2 – The spaz in you temporarily takes over as you shout, to anyone who will listen, how totally fucking awesome you are for even attempting such a monumental task. “Wahoo!” you say. “I’m the king of the world! I can do anything! Uuuunstoppable! Yeow! Suck it naysayers, look at me now!”

Then comes Day 3. For anyone out there who is considering a cleanse, you really need to prepare yourself for Day 3. Day 3 is when you collapse. Your head hurts because you haven’t been drinking enough lemonade. You realize you hate the lemonade because it’s completely disgusting and find it impossible to take even one more sip. You argue with your partner or your best friend or the bus driver and feel fully justified because you’ve gone two whole days without food.

In a nutshell, your ego starts talking louder than your resolve. Much louder.

Right then, when you’re at your lowest, something like this will happen: your sister, who never has spare cash, will appear with spare cash and say, “Oh darn, you’re fasting? I wanted to take you to our favorite Thai restaurant on 23rd for dinner.” That bitch!

This will happen to you, I swear. But don’t hate her for this is not your real sister! This is an alien being come down to Earth to knock you off your path. This is your ego slipping in to remind you how much you suck at life and can’t finish anything you commit to. It’s your unconscious self pulling you back to your negative comfort zone. It’s the universe, it’s God, it’s Gaia, it’s anything you want to say it is testing your resolve.

Don’t let that stupid little voice win. Drink some lemonade and move on. Humans have been fasting since the dawn of time. Our bodies are capable of it and that’s all you need to know. What’s waiting for you on the other side is immeasurable growth and knowledge combined to equal freedom. You are strong enough. You can get there because you are enough.

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5 thoughts on “A Note About Hump Day”

  1. Jenny, I knew I liked you the first time I met you (and it had nothing to do with the awesome smoothy you made for me) but this post totally ROCKS! Your description of day 2 is so dead on it made me laugh out loud — I’ve lived through Hump Day twice and it is always brutal but the NEXT day always makes up for it ten fold!! Awesome. You are awesome!

  2. Okay, I am about to start the cleanse tomorrow. And this entry in your blog is going to very important to me come Thursday, my Day 3. I almost can’t wait til Day 3 so I can hurry to this entry to remind myself why I am doing this. It is my first cleanse and the first time I will have gone a day without eating solid food since I started. I have been thinking and saying I was going to cleanse for years and finally got up the nerve this time to actually take action! Thanks Jenny!

  3. My day three is my Monday at work! I already warned everyone, so I think people are going to steer clear of me. I feel like I fell apart on the evening of day 1! Went for a bike ride on day 2 and now I am back home with the worst part of the day ahead of me. The afternoon and evening. Oh well…I will make it!

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