Funny thing about me, I always think people mean what they say. This has been tripping me up for as long as I can remember. For instance if a guy says, “You seem cool, we should hang out,” what I think he means is: “I think you’re cool and I’d like to hang out with you.” Do you see how the two are similar?
What I never think he means is: “If you send me a message via Facebook or text, I will ignore you.”
Maybe I’m an idiot. Maybe this is Communication Between the Sexes 101 and I’m the only moron who doesn’t get it. I’m sounding bitter now, I know. I’d like to just get this off my chest and walk away from it.
I understand fizzled sparks and loss of interest. I understand busy lives and complicated situations. What I do not grasp is ignoring someone who has just tried to get in touch with you. There are so many simple phrases that politely get the “Thanks, but no thanks” point across, yet so few of us actually use any of them. I don’t understand why.
Between the stories I’ve shared and the stories I haven’t bothered to share, a clear pattern has emerged. 1) Guy and girl express interest in each other. 2) Guy disappears without a word. 3) Girl feels disappointed. There have been no actual rejections, just a disappearing act on repeat, as if my love life has become a skipping LP.
Forgive me my soapbox, but I have to say this: I think there’s another way. It has to do with both parties respecting each other while simultaneously respecting the communication process that gets us to a deeper understanding and appreciation of this life we get to live. It has to do with all the ladies promising not to freak out if it turns out the guy doesn’t like us and all the menfolk promising not to flake out if it turns out you didn’t really mean what you said. No freaking. No flaking. We just say words that are honest and kind.
I’m gonna promise to do my best with this from here on out. Anybody with me?