So there’s no job. Poof! Gone before I even started as if blown out to sea by the trade winds.
I don’t have much info to share. All I know is the case of owners busting in under cover of night, changing locks, putting up new hotel name signs and effectively locking out the management company that has 29 years left on its contract with said hotel is virtually unheard of, especially when the management company is the largest of its kind in the world. But that is what happened and that is why I have no job.
Fear tells me I should be scrambling, I should be angry, I was wronged and this isn’t fair. Fear says I should pack up and scamper home with my head hung low and my tail between my legs. It tells me it’s over, I failed and this was a stupid idea anyway.
But fear’s voice is so quiet these days I can hardly make it out over the crash of the surf and the birds chattering outside on the lanai. Fear has been losing the battle to rule my heart for some time now. Instead I kind of just feel like this was bound to happen and, considering I’ve survived much worse, I’ll likely be fine.
I would prefer not to be alone right now but I can handle it. I would prefer to know what’s going to happen and if I’m going to find another job but it’s OK that I can’t.
There is good news. The boxes I sent to myself arrived with such treasured items as dental floss and my garlic press, both of which I used today. I got to have conversation #2 with the lovely and handsome hot guy from school. He mentioned The Celestine Prophecy which I immediately checked out of the library and, I’ll tell ya, reading that book is the primary thing keeping me level headed and positive. You know how much I love coincidences and it appears to be an entire novel about indulging coincidences in order to fully experience life. Nice timing, huh?
There’s a lot of good news actually. I love it here. I love the mountains that surround the backside of my neighborhood. I love jogging in the morning with Tobi before it gets hot. I love strolling for hours with both dogs in the evenings. I LOVE my landlords. I love my apartment. I love the people I’m meeting at school. I love being in class and reading and taking quizzes.
I can’t explain it in a way that makes logical sense, but I don’t have anything resembling a knot in my stomach about this situation. I’m not losing sleep, nor am I crippled with the worry I had come to accept as every day life in my recent past. I absolutely entirely love it here and I have no inclination to leave. These next few months will no doubt be difficult and scary but I’m not about to give up on my dream. Most of it has already come true.