Peter Pans of the World… Grow Up

Swing and a miss in the dating realm once again, but this one really irks me because I felt so sure about it.

I wasn’t crazy to ask this guy out. The minute he saw me at orientation, he sat down next to me and started talking. He flirted with me on campus, went out of his way (like involving a staircase and a fake trip to the bathroom out of his way) to check me out that day I was wearing a cute little black dress. At the festival he spent hours getting to know me, tapping my leg, leaning in close, mentioning how likable I am. When it was dinnertime he sent everyone on their way and stayed with me until I found something vegetarian. Then he sat in the grass and told me more about his life.

In his note to tell me he was unavailable he said he had jogged past my house twice hoping to see me, he apologized for not checking in about how my new job was going, he gave me his phone number and he invited me on a hike.

Dear Attention Seeking Leo Peter Pan Who Can’t Move Past Keeping His Options Open,

That is a confusing and inappropriate way to treat a girl who just asked you out WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! For fuck’s sake dude! Say thanks but no thanks and move on!

It’s just like the guy who came to my food cart every day last summer, ordered a large juice and flirted with me. He used to check me out from across the street, stare at me while he waited for food from other carts, make jokes, laugh, smile. Then when I asked him out he said he had a girlfriend.

I didn’t feel bad for myself after that incident. I felt bad for his girlfriend. Like I felt bad for the girlfriend of the guy who actually went out with me and then asked me on a second date, one which he hoped would involve “adult beverages”, before mentioning the lady waiting for him at home.

Gentlemen, this is pathetic behavior. If you don’t like your girlfriend, break up with her and move on. If you’re not satisfied, cut the ties and go in search of what fulfills you. And if you’re 33 years old, don’t tell me two dogs and a cat are a lot of responsibility. Grow the fuck up and be a man.


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