To the Fleas Who Will Simply Not Die

While I admire your vigilance and fortitude, your ability to jump from limb to limb and when necessary dog to dog… while I glance on in awe at your unwillingness to simply die and be gone from our blankets, our carpet, our lives… while I understand how difficult it can be just to live in this world, to find love and be accepted for who we are…

I have to say I loathe you for the havoc you have wreaked on my beloved pets and my still struggling bank account. Frontline for three different weight categories, fine tooth combs, carpet powder, shampoo and a brand new vacuum cleaner… this list is supposed to end with something priceless, right?

In twelve years of pet ownership this is the first time I’ve encountered you little beasts and this experience is starting to really tick me off. I get it that it’s different in the tropics. I get it that there are just a lot of bugs here. But you listen to me you little fuckers. I’m going to kill you all. One by one if I have to. I’m going to kill your little babies too. Poison ‘em, stomp ‘em out with my foot, suck ‘em up with my shiny new vacuum and kick ‘em to the curb with the rest of the trash.

Yah you heard me. Who’s trembling now?


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