It’s Been A Year, Or Fourteen

It’s raining on Oahu and it’s been a year. A year since I first came here to visit. A year since he was in the kitchen picking something off the floor, throwing it into the trash can and looking up at me for the first time. I often wonder why I can recall that moment with such clarity. I remember the stagnancy of the warm humid air, the Wilco t-shirt and black pants I was wearing, the traffic sounds emanating from the H-1 down behind the house. I remember the details of his expression, the feel of the floor through my socks.

There are 8,760 hours in a year. All told two of them were spent in the woods falling in love with a stranger. The rest? Well, just living life, hoping to catch another glimpse of what I saw at the secret waterfall in the wilderness beyond the arboretum.

We’ve had moments. Some alone, others with friends. They’ve been few and far between but enough to let me figure out what’s really going on. I’ve come to understand that the potential is just that, potential, not reality. In fact he’s usually not even nice to me and he’s definitely not going to show me his human-ness again. What can I say? I have a knack for falling for cocksure jackasses.

8,758 hours spent quietly hoping to get back to the 2 that were really good. Ha! And people still tell me I have no comprehension of patience.

The good news is I’ve not only learned a bit about the ancient art of patience. I’ve also learned about letting go. Voluntary. Sober. The best kind if you ask me.

On February 3rd Neptune, my ruling planet, moved out of Aquarius and into Pisces for the first time since the mid-1800’s. This is considered a huge cosmic shift from a 14-year chapter of difficulty and heartache into a fresh beginning filled with energized personal projects and a focus on health and positivity. According to Astrostyle, “Neptune will spend the next 14 years in Pisces, bringing a healing and serendipitous energy to your life. You’ll start to find yourself experiencing a speedup of coincidences, and being at the right place at the right time.”

I am literally tasked with tying up loose ends in order to prepare for a reset when my birthday rolls around. I’m embracing this to the fullest.

Here’s to quietly letting go and continuing to move forward. Here’s to enjoying the hell out of my life. Here’s to only saying yes to that which is uplifting and positive.

Thank you Neptune. The crappy times taught me a lot, but I certainly do appreciate this new positioning.

P.S.   I ran 4 miles in 37 minutes tonight. I have no idea how I accomplished this. I was stunned when I finished and assumed my stopwatch had malfunctioned. Yay!


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