I’ve decided it best to get my head out of my ass, which is where it generally resides when an interesting man walks onto the scene. In the perennial wisdom of the oh-so-sage Sex and the City creators, the SC is just not that into me. So I’m walking away, head held high, genuinely thankful to have spent any time with him at all.
And with that, focus is restored to three important areas of my life: work, running, writing.
Work has been on an upswing. That is to say I’m hating it much less and even finding moments of comfort and joy. My new boss is wonderful and even though I freaked out (tears!) the last time my regional manager came to town, she returned last week with my divisional manager and the national director of coffee, all of whom took the time to tell me I’m doing such a great job they want to figure out how to make me happy and help me stay and grow. They even came prepared with a dangling carrot – the company is announcing plans to start opening juice bars (Seattle 2013 what! what!).
So I started thinking – why do I expend so much energy trying to hang out with people who aren’t committed to me while simultaneously pushing away the ones who are? My managers saw me at my worst and came back to say, “It’s all good, we think you’re worth the fuss.” Assistant managing a coffee bar is not the most exciting job, however a long-term career with a Fortune 500/Forbes Best Company that could turn into something I’m totally passionate about… when my head is clear I recognize that as a great way to make good money while pursuing my bigger dreams.
I used to think my job was supposed to mirror my dreams, and in truth it used to do just that. Those days are over though and I’m starting to accept that there’s another way.
As for running, I felt completely lame after posting my admission that I’m absolutely dreading making any attempt to actually run the marathon. It’s seven weeks out and I’m officially committing to taking it seriously and training – like for reals – starting Tuesday.
As for writing, November marks my favorite month for getting stuff done so in between training and working I’m going to participate in National Novel Writing Month again. It’s the geekiest bestest thing ever and I can’t wait!
I’m filling my plate close to overflowing. Hopefully it will distract me from the fact that the captain has basically disappeared without a word and I’ll probably never hear from him again, just like every other guy I’ve met over the past few years.
For now it’s just me and I will be enough, if not more.