I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to compose this post. This decision came to me weeks ago in my tent on the North Shore: It’s time to leave Hawaii because I did not come here to suffer.
I came for adventures and beauty and warmth and I’ve had no regrets and many incredible experiences. It’s not time to leave tomorrow or this month or even this year. But next year, yes. I will leave in June because the unexpected consequences of this long distance journey have become unbearable loneliness, nonstop high pressure work stress and a concern that maybe I’m kinda just floating 3,000 miles at sea, not so much docked or grounded on dry land as I’d hoped.
My coach rode his motorcycle half way around the island to visit me on my week-long staycation at my landlords’ ranch in Kahuku. Not Coach C who I fell in love with and ended up broken hearted by, but Coach J who was just always funny and supportive and totally awesome. He took me out to dinner, bought me a margarita and said, “Well hey if you’re gonna leave in the spring you should train for the Honu Half Iron Man and take off after that.”
There was no argument to be made against his logic of going out on a totally awesome high and so a plan was put into place the next morning. I was texting my sister from my air mat in the tent with the windows zipped down watching the sunrise over the North Shore of Oahu. [I could not make this shit up if I tried.]
The night before I read the Tao Te Ching flanked by dogs with white wine and Cheez-Its and in the morning it became crystal clear.
My sister has decided to move back to Boulder, CO, a city and a person I adore. And I’m going to join her there. But not until I do something great. Not until I accomplish something that currently feels impossible: 70.3 miles on the Big Island of Hawaii.
So here’s to the next goal and the exciting adventure that will follow: 1.2 mile open ocean swim, 56 mile bike ride up and down the Kohala Coast and a 13.1 mile half marathon to end a challenge I would never have thought I could accomplish if I hadn’t come here in the first place.