I love Christmas but I get so excited when it’s over because I love Love LOve LOVe LOVE New Year’s! It is by far my favorite holiday of the year!

Here’s something awesome we can all do this weekend: has a great article about twenty questions to ask ourselves in order to reflect upon 2017 before jumping into goal setting for 2018. There are so many good ones on the list! Here are just a few to get your gratitude and awareness juices flowing:

~ What am I most proud of?
~ What do I wish I did differently?
~ What or who did I learn the most from?
~ What did I resist the most and why?
~ What new skills did I acquire?
~ What limiting belief about myself do I no longer have?
~ How have I been proved wrong and how was that liberating?

I’m definitely doing this tonight! Who’s with me? You can check out the FULL LIST HERE.

Here’s to ending 2017, a.k.a. The Last Year of Life as I Know It, on a positive, inquisitive and grateful note! Sending love & light


Was It a Coincidence or Were You Being Guided?

Back in August I experienced what I said was the loneliest moment of my entire life. It happened in the northwestern corner of Ireland, known locally as Bumfuck. (Not actually true but it might as well be.) I had just left the Pure Magic Lodge on Achill Island by bicycle. Have you heard of it? Of course not, it’s a tiny place in the middle of nowhere frequented primarily by kite surfers who enjoy frigid water and freezing cold blustery air. I stayed there because I liked the name of it and it had a colorful logo.

From there I rode up through Belmullet, a town dedicated to country fairs and hot wheelers making donuts in abandoned parking lots, and was on my way to Ballina. At this point I had ridden over 700 miles along the Wild Atlantic Way mostly by myself. I was tired, a little bored from the repetition quite frankly, and it was a Sunday.

Not much happens in Ireland on a Sunday. One might imagine that’s because it’s the Christian holy day except that no one was at church either. The parking lots to the chapels were empty, the chapels themselves completely devoid of humans. There was no one driving on the street. There seemed to be no one home in any of the houses. And when I really needed a break and a snack, even the gas station convenience store was closed. I could not figure out where everyone had run off to.

It was Ireland in the dead of summer so naturally it was dark grey and chilly. I sat on a cement wall across the street from the deserted gas station, wrapped myself up in my hoodie and ate a yogurt I had purchased the day before. I looked all around thinking surely one car would pass by at some point . . . eventually. But it didn’t happen so I got back on my bike and cycled on to the north coast and the famed Céide Fields.

There are stories from down south around Dingle about how European explorers who assumed the world was flat considered the southwest coast of Ireland to be the end of the world. But it was up north at the Céide Fields, the oldest known stone-walled fields in the world dating back 6,000 years, in County Mayo, where I felt like I really reached the edge. What do you say about a place that just gives you a feeling that something is about to happen?

It was there that my GPS went haywire, suddenly unable to locate my position and inexplicably adding 30 extra miles to my ride that I never actually rode. It was there, in the middle of Bumfuck Nowheresville, on the northwestern coast of Ireland with nothing but ocean in front of me and freaky-deaky woo woo shit behind me, that something crucial became clear.

In that moment I had a breakthrough. I saw the part of my life that needed to switch from a should to a must (something I learned at Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within). I must find a relationship because it is no longer an option to stay single and experience that level of extreme loneliness. I will always go on ridiculous bicycle trips; it’s in my blood. But I’ll no longer do it alone. I’ll no longer tackle any part of life completely by myself.

Two days later, amidst the worst rain Ireland had experienced in 100 years, I got hit by a car. I was on my way to meet a cycling friend in Donegal and still had fifty miles to go when WHAMMO! My saddlebags flew off behind me, my cycling shoes released from the pedals and I sailed through the air over the trunk and back windshield. I landed on my back with a solid thud next to the car’s back tire and squirmed like a flipped over cockroach, unable to speak my name or stand up. I was completely stunned.

A stranger called an ambulance and when the paramedics arrived I argued with them. I still had fifty miles left to ride. I couldn’t go to the hospital for goodness sake. I had to get to Donegal!

In my head I kept telling myself, “Stop fighting. Just relax and go with these people who are trying to help you. It’s OK if you don’t get to Donegal.” But my body felt compelled to get right back on my bicycle. It took a long while for me to calm down and comply. I felt like letting my wall down allowed the fear to flood into my fortress and I was definitely scared, strapped to a stretcher in a foreign country, soaked through to the bone and shivering uncontrollably.

And then a tiny miracle happened: I called my friend who was also on his bicycle fifty miles away in the pouring rain and I asked for help. No questions asked, all he needed to hear was the waffling quality of my voice and he rushed to my side. He stepped up. He figured it out and was there in just over an hour.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, December 5th. I’ve arrived in West Palm Beach, FL for my second Tony Robbins conference. This one is six days and nights and it’s called Date with Destiny. There are 4,500 people from 80 countries in attendance and we’ve been randomly assigned team numbers that are printed on our badges at registration. These teams break us up into groups of about thirty.

At the end of the first day we’re all told where to go to meet our teams. As I walk over towards mine I immediately notice a colorful logo on one of the other member’s t-shirt: Pure Magic Lodge, Achill Island, Ireland. Not only that, but he’s wearing a cycling jersey that maps out the entire Wild Atlantic Way cycling route I took.

What happened after that was an almost overwhelming outpouring of love and support, but more importantly, a release of information that had been lodged in my bones my whole life. Crystal clear memories from my childhood that shaped the way I approach the world (and very specifically men). Scientific research about how our brains function. Exciting/difficult/ tear soaked/joy encrusted/exhausting/exhilarating exercises that woke us up to the power we have to shape our destinies. 4,500 people from 80 countries spread out on the floor of a massive convention center with poster board and markers working on their values together, dancing up a storm, jumping for joy, doling out liberal high fives and hugs for six days and nights.

Tony Robbins asks this question a lot: Was it a coincidence or were you being guided?

Unleash the Power Within → Deep memories bubble to the surface but I’m still missing vital details → I wake up a little and get to work on all the things I can do in order to move forward → I experience the loneliest moment of my entire life and for the first time I demand that it change, I turn my should into a MUST → WHAMMO! I get hit by a car and not only do I let my guard down in a terrifying moment, but I allow myself to get rescued by a good man who I trust → I wake up a little more and keep charging forward with love in my heart and a positive outlook → Date with Destiny reminds me of EXACTLY where I was and gives me the missing information I need to truly move FORWARD → → → ♥ ♥ ♥

I’m definitely going with guidance on this one.

Dear Universe, Thank you for reminding me I’m on the right track. I get it and I trust you. Love, Jennifer

P.S. Can you believe the last year of life as I know it is almost over?!

Sending love and light

Goal Check

As we head into the final month of the year, this is a great time to check in on the goals we set for ourselves at the halfway point. Have we made enough progress to check some of them off our lists? If not, are we at least on our way?

Back in July I gave myself five goals. I’m happy to report I can check four off the list and have one in progress.

My #1 most important goal was to publish my book. And considering the only thing I’ve been talking about for the past month is my newly published book . . . Guess what? It’s done! Check!

#2 was to cycle the Wild Atlantic Way of Ireland. Most of you were along for that amazing ride. I also knocked out Goal #5 by writing a new blog dedicated to the trip called This Is My Wild. CHECK IT OUT HERE. Done and done!

My third most important goal was to change my diet. While I believe this will be a lifelong process, I am very happy with some big steps that I’ve taken. I’ve cut out alcohol, soda, potato chips, chocolate milk, Cheez-Its and Snapple. If I’m basically a stranger from the internet to you, this might not sound like much. But if you’ve known me for a while you are likely aware of the fact that I used to consume large amounts of all of those things. I feel amazing without them. I’ve also incorporated a daily green juice or smoothie and it’s been wonderful. Diet change = check!

Four is a work in progress. I set a goal of reading twelve books. I’ve read quite a few but I didn’t keep track so I don’t know exactly how many. I’ve put a heck of a reading list together for 2018. Forty-four books to be exact from categories designed to help move me in the direction of my next goals.

How about you? What goal are you most proud of setting for yourself and accomplishing this year? Let me know in the comments below.

Next week I’m off to Florida for my second Tony Robbins conference. This one is called Date with Destiny. It’s twice as long and probably ten times as intense as the one I went to last March. I can’t wait to report back all about it!

Sending love and light ❤

I’m Officially Published!

Hi everyone! I have such exciting news – I’ve been published by an outside source for the first time ever. This is HUGE for me!! It’s a really big step to finally become a published writer.

Please help me gain traction with page views, likes and shares by following the link below to my book excerpt on elephant journal:

Facebook Official!

Growing an author platform does not exactly come naturally to me, but I’m giving it my best shot. If anyone would like to follow me on social media I now have an official Facebook author page here:

And I’ve got the book on Twitter here: @FuckCancerBlog

Also, don’t forget I have a blog dedicated to the book which I hope to launch and grow in a more formal fashion soon. You can check it out here:

Thanks again for the support and love as I set short term goals aside and truly chase after my dreams! Sending love & light ❤

– Jennifer


Oh my goodness, it’s ready!! I can hardly believe it but my first book is complete and available for purchase. Thank you so much to everyone who has joined me along this writing journey. I started blogging in 2009 after life as I knew it basically blew up in my face. When I arrived to Portland, OR, a huddled mess, I joined a memoir writing class and was welcomed by the women who were most influential on my work from Day One.

Ariel Gore, Carrie Link, Travis Dedmore, Deb Shucka, Maria Holmes, Sarah Marshall, Sue Tortolani, Amber Windsong Mills, Corrina Karch and more.

From there I expanded to a new group of incredibly talented writers in Honolulu, HI.

Lizzie Vance, Lani Kwon, Cynthia Christian, Erin Crocker, Malia Helela, to name a few.


Then I went home to Connecticut because, say it with me now, FUCKING CANCER!

And now here it is! This book is the product of two years of work combined with unexpected joy and So. Much. Love. Ericka, thank you from the bottom of my heart for not just allowing me back into your life but for letting me document and share your story. I love you to the moon and back ❤ ❤ ❤

Follow this link to purchase your copy of  FUCK CANCER: A TALE OF LOVE POURING IN FROM EVERY ANGLE!

Oh hey… remember me?

Hi everyone! Just a quick note to say hello!

I made it back to the states from Ireland then almost immediately moved from Connecticut to Colorado. Now I’m settled into the stunningly gorgeous city of Boulder and life is grand.

I’ll be switching up the blog this month as I piece together an official launch plan for my first book FUCK CANCER: A Tale of Love Pouring in from Every Angle. I’m so excited and ready to get this out into the world. Please bear with me as the next few months will be ALL about book promotion.

Until then… sending love & light as always ❤

Day 31, Mizen to Malin the Long Way Round

Most people who pedal from Mizen Head (in the south) to Malin Head (in the north) in Ireland do so by a rather straightforward and direct route. As you know, I took a slightly longer approach. I am so delighted to have had the opportunity to share the sights and sounds of my fantastic trip with you all. Thank you to everyone who tagged along!

It seems like it was ages ago that I was at the Aille River Hostel in Doolin, County Clare, fighting with a shower that was programmed to emit warm(ish) water for only ten seconds at a time. I would press the button, scrub the chain grease off my shins as fast as I could while I counted to nine and then straighten up to hit the button again, hoping to keep the stream flowing so I wouldn’t have to stand there and freeze.

One thousand miles along the west coast of Ireland by bicycle is at once miraculous and a little bit disappointing. I really wanted to complete the full fifteen hundred. That was the whole point when I started. I’m not coming down on myself for taking it easy after being hit by a car—I promise I’m not that bullheaded—but I do feel a bit shorted. Not just by the accident but by the daily struggle.

I really underestimated the triple whammy of exhaustion I was in for. Physical exhaustion from riding so many miles with so much elevation gain. Mental exhaustion from being in a foreign country. (No matter how similar you may think Ireland is to the United States, I assure you it is a foreign country.) Plus emotional exhaustion from tackling so much of it on my own.

I wasn’t tired when I got hit though. In fact, just the opposite. I was excited because Noel and I were simultaneously heading for Donegal from different directions. We planned to meet up again because he wanted to do recon work for Wild Atlantic Cycling (which will soon be offering tours of the entire Wild Atlantic Way—send inquiries HERE!) and he hadn’t seen a lot of the northwest corner yet. I, of course, was more than happy for the company. On Day 22 from Ballina to Sligo, in the worst downpours I’d experienced yet, I kept reminding myself with a laugh and a smile, “This is it! This is my last solo ride! I’m not gonna be alone anymore!”

And then—WHAMMO KABLAMMO—I’m sprawled on my back squirming like an insect, unable to get up, unable to say my name, fifty miles shy of Donegal.

It all leaves me wondering on my last day, drinking my last cup of tea at a Costa Café in downtown Belfast… What was the actual point of this journey? When we take a journey we expect an outcome, a shift inside ourselves. What did we see? Who did we meet? What did we learn? What will we miss and furthermore what did we miss about home? Are we happy to be heading back?

I will miss the scones. I will not miss the plumbing. I will miss my partner in mileage, the near constant flush of fresh air on my face and the local pubs cranking out traditional Irish music. I will not miss the hotels with twin size beds and no top sheets (seriously people, just you and a duvet cover on a bed made for a child). Obviously I will miss the sheep and the cows most of all. Though I can’t wait to get back to my dogs and my car and tortilla chips. I will miss the quiet nights in the country and the kindness of the wonderful innkeepers who fed me and washed my smelly cycling clothes. Not surprisingly, I suppose I will also miss being regularly disconnected from the Internet. It was a pain in the ass anytime it happened but I know how good it was for me.

All of those memories and experiences tell a great story but they don’t answer the underlying question. What was the point?

Really when it comes down to it I can’t help but think that the lesson, the real takeaway for me is this: I learned how to get picked up at the hospital by someone who traveled fifty miles to get to me even though I said I was OK, which I wasn’t. And furthermore I learned to believe that he was much more worried than he was put out by the trouble of it.

Instead of insisting I was fine, I stopped pushing when I was in pain and took shortcuts away from the coast even though I knew I was ruining the excursion for the person who came to help me. In essence I let myself be broken and vulnerable with another human being.

Help is hard but trust is harder. And the audacity of believing that it’s OK if I’m not always at my best? Zoinks! This is big for me. Really big.

After Malin Head and Muff, Noel gave me a tour (by car) of the Antrim Coast of Northern Ireland. First we ate Morelli’s famous ice cream in Portstewart. Then we continued on to explore the vast beauty of Giant’s Causeway.

And then for the last few days of my trip I walked slowly around Belfast and let everything I accomplished, all the miles and experiences, really start to sink in.

Thank you for everything Noel. I miss riding with you already. Thank you Paul Kennedy. Thank you Wild Atlantic Cycling. Thank you Wild Atlantic Way. Thank you innkeepers, paramedics, musicians, sheep farmers and more. Thank you to every single person I met, even the feckin’ eejit who hit me.

Sending love and light from my last day in Belfast ❤

Niahm Varian-Barry and Gerry O’Beirne at O’Sullivan’s Courthouse Pub, Dingle, County Kerry, Ireland